Things You Never Thought You’d Hear Your Child Say

My sister-in-law Laura blogged about things you never thought you’d say before you became a parent. That inspired this post.

• After explaining to Frank what slavery is and why it’s wrong, he responded with, “Well… you tell me what to do and I have to do it.”
  
  
• We were playing school one day, Frank was the teacher, and I asked him to please explain the existentialism of man in the nineties. He answered, “There were snakes in it.”
  
  
• At the water park one day, George was keeping one of his eyes covered and looking so sad and pathetic. When I asked him what was wrong with his eye he said, “It’s broken.”
  
  
• Frank keeps telling me he’ll be all grown up when he’s a “teenager daddy.” I’m keeping my fingers crossed that this won’t be one of those self-fulfilling prophecies.
  
  
• Once when he was 1 ½-2 years old, I knew Frank was feeling the pressures of toddlerhood because he was tossing in his sleep and moaning about circles, squares, and the color blue.
  
  DISCLAIMER: The four-year-old mind is a mystery. There’s no telling how it internalizes its daily experiences, and no explaining why it says the things it says. In other words, I’m hoping and praying this last one doesn’t offend anybody.
• My mom asked Frank if he had a girlfriend at school, and he said yes. She asked him if his girlfriend was beautiful and he said, “Well, she’s black and dirty, but I still kiss her.”