New House

For those who don't know, when we walked into our new house on closing day, the kitchen and living room were flooded. So we had to get new floors. And we had some serious painting to do. The living room had wood paneling, which is...unacceptable. And two of the bedrooms had really dark paint. Acutally one of the rooms had a black accent wall. I know. In fairness to the previous owners, with their decor, it looked really nice, but we couldn't pull that off. And didn't want to. So here are some before and after shots.

By the way, we did all the priming and painting in one marathon day, finished at 2:30am. And we couldn't have done it without the help of my sister Alison, brother-in-law Bill, and the Miles. Thank you guys very much.

Kitchen

Living Room

Play Room

Boy's room (the one with the black wall)

It's hard to tell, but that's light blue paint.

Spare room

(light green paint)

4th of July Wipeout

Our 4th of July bashes are notoriously dangerous, with many close calls and near misses. But I guess my mom built up a tolerance to that particular adrenaline rush, and in search of a new thrill decided this year's celebration should be based on Wipeout. I was positive someone would end up in the ER. As it turned out, the only injuries were minor cuts suffered by both Frank and George and caused by tripping over cinderblocks - nothing to do with beserk fireworks or water stunts gone horribly wrong.

The festivities began with Alison launching water balloons at the kids. I think Josh was the only one to successfully catch a balloon without breaking it.

Next, Stephanie had them "diving" for bouncy balls in a kiddy pool filled with shaving cream. The only trouble with this one was that Paige wanted to eat it.

They ran straight from the shaving cream to the trampoline where they had 30 seconds to throw as many balls as they could into a basket while Pete took fiendish pleasure in spraying them with a hose.

Finally, they had to carry water balloons across the slip 'n slide without breaking them. Jenna's the only one that fell, and I got the money shot.

None of the adults wanted to get wet, but I guess grandmas can't pass up the chance for a hug...not even wet ones.

Power of Suggestion

I took Frank, Goerge, and my nephew Colby with me to Nashville for a few days this week. On the way there Colby had a urinary emergency. It was about 10 minutes before I finally and thankfully found someplace to exit. As I was pulling into the station, Frank started wailing,"Colby kept saying he had to go to the bathroom so much that he talked my penis into it."

He definitely has a way with words.

Rock and Roll

Elder Talbot and Elder Porter came over for a p-day jam session...

Slumber Party '09

This is what my parents' house looks like right now:

And they don't have any power, so Mom, Dad, and Granny Candy are staying with us. Frank and George are loving this big slumber party. I'm having fun too, except that I nearly froze last night. I need a bear skin or something between me and the air mattress. I'm not sure how Pete liked sleeping on the top bunk of the boys' bunk beds - but since he's still there, I assume he's pretty comfortable.

We're only 4 miles from my parents, but we didn't get hit nearly as hard as them. The boys had a lot of fun playing in the snow and eating icicles. I told them their snowsuits would keep them dry, and I think they took it as a personal challenge to test my theory:

We have a huge holly bush that looks really pretty in the ice.

So Much for That Idea

The only time we let the boys eat in the living room is when we have pizza on Saturdays for movie night. But this afternoon felt sort of special. Pete’s on vacation and George was taking a nap, so Frank was enjoying some rare one-on-one time with dad. They were playing the Spiderman Playstation game he got for Christmas, and I suggested he could use the McDonald’s card he also got for Christmas to buy a happy meal and they could sit in the living room and play video games. I thought he’d jump at the opportunity. I was wrong. He informed me that his “motor skills aren’t good enough to eat and play video games at the same time.”

We sat at the table while we ate our hamburgers.

Santa Confusion

We don’t really talk much to Frank and George about Santa. I mean, we read stories about him and take them to Santa’s Village to sit on his lap and get their picture taken and stuff like that. But we never talk to them specifically about Santa bringing them (or not bringing them) presents. I guess it’s mostly because I feel confused about Santa. It’s a fun tradition, I loved waiting for him to come on Christmas Eve, and I want my boys to have fun with it too. But I don’t ever want my kids to ask me why Santa didn’t bring them a trampoline or a 4-wheeler or some other awesome toy like he brought the neighbors, you know what I mean? So I don’t push Santa.

But lately I’ve been wondering what Frank thinks about it all. So I told him that some kids believe Santa is real and some think he isn’t real, and I asked him what he thought. He mulled it over for a second and said, “I think he isn’t real. “ That sort of surprised me because even though I’ve never pushed Santa, I’ve also never said anything to make them not believe.

But then he went on, “I think some guy just puts on a costume and a fake beard and takes the presents to all the houses.” Now I was really intrigued. He understands that Santa himself is an unrealistic fairy tale, but still thinks that someone other than mom and dad is delivering presents? So then I asked him how that guy in the costume gets all the presents to all the kids’ houses? Again he thought for a second and decided, “I think he probably drives a van that has reindeer painted on it.”

I see my own Santa confusion has rubbed off on him. So now I’m trying to decide if I should continue to let a stranger in a Santa costume, driving an awesome custom van with airbrushed reindeer, get all the credit for what’s under the tree Christmas morning.

I think he may have a future in stand-up

Frank hates his winter coat. It's his fault - he picked it out. It's big and bulky and looks adorable on him, but he whines and complains whenever I make him wear it. The last time I made him put it on, Grandma was here and we had been telling "why did the chicken cross the road" jokes. So I tell him he has to wear it; he starts whining and says, "I hate that thing! It makes me look big and fat and stupid!" And George immediately asks us all, "Why did the big fat stupid cross the road?"

We were laughing so hard we nearly missed the punchline: "Because it ran out of biscuits."

And here are some of the others we came up with that had us laughing like a bowl full of idiots...

Q: Why did the seal cross the ocean?
A: To get to the other tide.

Q: Why did the tanner cross the tannery?
A: To get to the other hide.

And my personal favorite...

Q: Why did the egg do a flip in the pan?
A: To get the other side fried.

Teenagers are Boring

Frank is obsessed with being a teenager. He thinks when you're a teenager you're all grown up and the epitome of coolness. When he doesn't want to wear something I've picked out for him, I just tell him it's what teenagers wear and viola...problem solved.

But I don't know what was going on in that strange head of his yesterday. Colby was tossing the football with me, but Frank didn't want to play catch. He kept saying, "Come on, Colby, let's go do something boring like teenagers do." I finally asked what kind of boring thing he wanted to do. He thought for a second and said, "Lay on my bed and pat my belly." Yup, that would be pretty boring.

HOLY CRAP

Sorry I didn't give more details; it never occurred to me you might think he had been hurt or something. This video is a common, several-times-daily event. Their COP literally gets bombed all the time. Scott says they can tell when the Afghanis are the ones shooting at them because they're always way off mark; and they know when it's foreign mercenaries shooting at them because they get much closer - sometimes right inside the base like in this video.

Scott's base being bombed:

Uncle Scott and Fall Fun

Scott came home at the end of September for R&R. We loved having him home, although it wasn't nearly long enough.

His nieces and nephews were thrilled to see him. And he had some pretty cool pictures and video clips of his base being bombed and himself shooting his 50-cal. It was both scary and cool - the boys loved it. I might have some of those clips to post soon, so check back later.

This was just the first pile of leaves we raked at the beginning of fall. The leaf pile has just about quadrupled in size since then.

My mom told us when she was a kid, they used the leaves to make a house - this was our attempt. We need to try again now that we have more leaves.

4th picture in 4th folder

Bekah tagged me. I'm supposed to post the 4th pic in the 4th folder of pictures:

This is something Frank made with MS Paint about a year ago. I thought it looked pretty cool, so I kept it.

I tag Sarah M.

Natalie B.

Anna L.

Werewolves

I got some insight as to what sorts of things a 2 year old might be grateful for when George blessed the food at breakfast yesterday:

Hev'y Fawwdder (that's Heavenly Father, he usually drags the Fawww out for several seconds),
Thanks that werewolves aren't real.
Thanks that lions are real.
And tigers.
And bears.

The list probably would've gone on and on, but he was distracted by my helpless laughter.

Three Amigos

Trouble (aka George)

Danger (aka Cousin Colby)

Disaster (aka Frank)

Trust me, these names are both appropriate and accurate.

We're Staying Put

Since Pete graduated in May, he's been looking around for a new job. He bid on positions at Tyson plants in Texas, Arkansas, Nebraska, Oklahoma, and I can't even remember where else. But he got a promotion at the plant right here in Union City, so we don't have to move. Yee ha

Twilight

No, I didn't fall off the face of the earth, I just spent the last week and a half reading the Twilight Saga. So for those of you who have already read it, here's what I think, and for those of you haven't read it yet, there aren't really any spoilers except for the last book...

Twilight The 15 year old girl in me loved the whole love-at-first-sight thing, even though it didn't make much sense. I didn't even mind that there was no plot or even any action until the last 50 pages or so of this almost 500 page book. One thing that did annoy me, though, was that Bella always seemed to be fainting, hyperventilating, or her head was spinning. She made me feel like a nervous wreck.

New MoonOnce again, I got really tired of Bella always crying, hyperventilating, holding herself together so she didn't splinter into pieces. But I loved Jacob - he saved this book for me. He and the other wolves were just fun.
And once again, the suspense at the end wasn't very suspenseful. Oh well.

Eclipse This might be my favorite installment of the Twilight saga because I loved the love triangle between Bella, Jacob, and Edward. And this time, there was an actual plot that built at least a little suspense and led to a somewhat exciting resolution.

Breaking Dawn** spoiler alert ** Wow, this one was a huge disappointment for me. There was so much promise for what a formidable vampire Bella could be - even Aro (head vampire guy) saying in book 2 that he couldn't wait to see how she would turn out - and then we didn't get to see anything. A 750 page book, each page building to what should've been an awesome good-vampires vs. bad-vampires smack down - and they resolve the whole thing peaceably and walk away!!! That sucked!!! Bella kept talking about her amazing newborn power and how she was dying to rip the bad guys to shreds...and nothing.

Despite the almost total lack of plot, suspense, and action - I still was completely addicted to these books, could not put them down, neglected my children and husband while reading them, and can't wait for the movie in November.

Afghanistan

These are some pics of my little brother Scott.
He's in a very remote area with 24 other guys and no running water - which means no showers. Every 15 days they get shipments of water. Natalie told him she was sending him a small inflatable pool to cool off in, but none of his buddies believed him. When it got there, his COs told him he couldn't use it because they couldn't waste the water. But then Scott told them he wanted to use it as a bath, they said OK, and now all the guys are lining up to bathe in it.

Maybe I'll have pics of that to post later.

He's on the left.

You sure you can handle the cute?

Last night George wanted me to read him this book:

First I asked him to name the animals, and he did. Then, expecting to hear "oink," I asked him what the pig says, and he answered, "Ahhh! It's a fox! Run away!"

T-r-o-u-b-l-e (aka George)

Not For the Squeamish

I'm serious, this is not for the faint of heart...

The other day Frank had a rather messy bowel movement, if you know what I mean. And for some reason, he did not want to wipe his bottom. He kept stalling and trying to talk his way out of it. He finally suggested, "How about this? I'll just leave it there and it will dry up and crack off on its own."

School's Out Forever!

Pete and my sister Natalie both graduated this spring, so we had a combined party for them.

They were a very happy couple.

George is 2!

This is Take-Me-To-A-Picnic Cake, with peanut butter frosting.
I made the same one for Frank's 1st birthday.

The lollipop was a present from Aunt Natalie.

Things You Never Thought You’d Hear Your Child Say

My sister-in-law Laura blogged about things you never thought you’d say before you became a parent. That inspired this post.

• After explaining to Frank what slavery is and why it’s wrong, he responded with, “Well… you tell me what to do and I have to do it.”
  
  
• We were playing school one day, Frank was the teacher, and I asked him to please explain the existentialism of man in the nineties. He answered, “There were snakes in it.”
  
  
• At the water park one day, George was keeping one of his eyes covered and looking so sad and pathetic. When I asked him what was wrong with his eye he said, “It’s broken.”
  
  
• Frank keeps telling me he’ll be all grown up when he’s a “teenager daddy.” I’m keeping my fingers crossed that this won’t be one of those self-fulfilling prophecies.
  
  
• Once when he was 1 ½-2 years old, I knew Frank was feeling the pressures of toddlerhood because he was tossing in his sleep and moaning about circles, squares, and the color blue.
  
  DISCLAIMER: The four-year-old mind is a mystery. There’s no telling how it internalizes its daily experiences, and no explaining why it says the things it says. In other words, I’m hoping and praying this last one doesn’t offend anybody.
• My mom asked Frank if he had a girlfriend at school, and he said yes. She asked him if his girlfriend was beautiful and he said, “Well, she’s black and dirty, but I still kiss her.”

Paint a Picture With Words

I got quite the mental picture when Frank said this about a girl in his class:

The last time Danell achooed, she got a big glob of sneeze on her shirt.

I Must Be Getting Slow - Cuz I Got Tagged

1. I gave myself the nickname Jennifer "The Thighmaster" Page in high school, but it never really took.

2. In one of my video production classes, we had to team up with a classmate and each make a short film together. My partner was named Weston. On the day we shot his film (which I knew nothing about), he took me under a bridge in Orange Mound (the worst area in Memphis), drew track needles on my arm with a marker, gave me a needle, and instructed me on how to make it look like I was shooting up while he filmed. I've always believed that if I (or anyone in my family) ever runs for public office, that video is sure to surface.

3. When I was a kid, I couldn't pronounce r's or ch's or sh's. I sounded something like this, "The wabbit wan down the woad because he tchure liked eating gheese." Translation: The rabbit ran down the road because he sure liked eating cheese.

4. When I worked in the financial aid office at the University of Memphis, one disgruntled student called me a troll. It still makes me laugh when I think about it.

5. Pete once had to call in to work because Frank and I were having a total meltdown and, embarassingly enough, they could hear Frank screaming, "Don't hit me, Mommy!" (Which I didn't, of course. But only because he asked.)

6. During the 1996 Olympics I had a huge crush on Bob Costas. My sister-in-law, Laura, knowing this, gave me a framed picture of him at my bridal shower.

7. My first concert was Poison and Slaughter when I was 13.

8. My first date with Pete was another concert - Tonic. Neither of us really liked them, but it was free cuz it was on campus. So anyway...I really like "If You Could Only See" for sentimental reasons.

9. My last concert was the Pixies reunion tour in Atlanta. Frank was 10 months old and still nursing, so we brought Natalie and Colby along so she could babysit while we were at the show. I fell asleep during the opening act, and that's when I knew I was too old for rock concerts. On the way back to the hotel, we bought 3 slices of cake for $21, and that's when I knew I was never going back to Atlanta.

10. Some people from high school best remember me for giving an impassioned speech on the proper treatment of swiss cake rolls.

Shameful Propaganda

You Like Me...You Really Like Me

Daily Inspiration

Throw Your Computer Through the Wall!

This is supposedly an employment test used in China or Japan. And if you finish in under 15 minutes you are supposedly a genius. I finished in 9 minutes!!! But then I couldn't repeat it. I think that makes me a retarted genius.

Object: To get all the people across the river.
1. Only two can cross at a time.
2. The only ones who can drive the raft are the Mother, Father or Policeman.
3. The mother can not be left with the sons without the father present.
4. The father can not be left with the daughters without the mother present.
5. The prisoner can not be left alone with any member of the family without the cop present.
6. To start, click the blue circle.
7. Click on the people to load or unload them, then click on the red posts on either side of the river to move the raft.
Free Flash GamesandFree Online Games

What am I - Chopped Liver?

Pete felt left out, so here's a picture of him jamming with his band. He's the bald cyclops.

My Cute Kids

They say George looks like Pete.
















And Frank looks like me.
















What do you think?